Creative Statement
My work, in the beginning, explored the somber realities of surviving child sexual abuse, neglect, and growing up queer and trans; however, as I have embarked on a personal journey of growth and healing, my work has begun to reflect that as well. Themes of intimacy, my body, my past, struggles with family, and identity, which have long been sources of internal strife, are now becoming nuanced reflections of my ongoing healing journey. The genesis of my work stems from deeply personal experiences, particularly my battle with shame that once kept me silent about the abuse I endured. Through therapy, medication, and the gradual deconstruction of that stifling shame, my art has transitioned to include messages of hope, healing, and growth.
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In my darkest moments, when I felt isolated, my sketches and paintings served as a sanctuary—a soothing balm for the wounds within. By sharing my art about these experiences, I aim to offer a similar solace to those navigating their rock bottoms, extending acknowledgment without reopening the slowly healing wounds of my past. This process begins as a vague collection of images and words within my mind, drawing from a reservoir of my experiences, thoughts, and emotions, all distilling into a sketch. Even though my art is pre-planned, translating a specific vision from sketched ideas onto a painted surface naturally creates deviation. My subject matter is that of surrealistic human figures, subtly incorporating pieces of my past and influences like Francis Bacon and Maya Bloch. Paint has a body that pencils and pens do not have. It glides, drips, bleeds, stains, and marks through acrylic paint, spray paint, pen, collage, stamps, alcohol marker, and other materials at my disposal. I build layers of marks on the surface into an impasto skin. Through these distinct marks and colors, I distort the figures and better capture the essence of the emotions I wish to evoke in the audience. My work goes into the realm of possible futures and fantasies, exploring the notion of recovery and envisioning what that may look like—exploring what healthy intimacy may look like, displaying my body, and expressing my raw emotions surrounding family, identity, and my past without shame. In doing so, I delve into what it may look like to stop coping or surviving and what it would be like to thrive.
The significance of delving into these themes within my artistic pursuits is deeply rooted in the recognition that the experience of trauma is an inevitable aspect of the human condition. The universality of encountering or eventually facing a traumatic event underscores the common thread that binds us all. In my work, I grapple with this shared human reality, acknowledging the profound impact such experiences can have on individuals.
However, it's not merely the occurrence of trauma that captivates my artistic exploration; it's the aftermath, the intricate tapestry of emotions, and the resiliency of moving toward healing and recovery. The aftermath becomes a collective space, a landscape of shared struggles, coping mechanisms, survival instincts, and the perpetual effort to move forward. It is in this aftermath that the universal nature of our responses to trauma unfolds. Moving forward from trauma is an ongoing, arduous battle—one that transcends individual narratives and becomes a universal struggle. The depiction of the unwavering human spirit, even in the face of profound adversity, speaks to the strength inherent in the human experience. This thread of connection is etched into the very fabric of my work, illustrating the complexities of navigating life post-trauma. By shedding light on this collective human experience, my art aims to foster empathy, understanding, and a sense of solidarity, reminding viewers that they are not alone in their quest for healing and resilience.
